Mindfulness Changed My Life
Hi, my name is Michelle and also your average true blue Singaporean. Thought I’ll spend some time here on the website to share with you who I am, and also my journey into mindfulness.
I used to think I could never find stillness. The hustle and bustle of city life, constant late nights, and the lure of the corporate ladder fed my soul...up till the point when my body started to break down. I lived and suffered with bulimia and panic attacks for years and thought it was just a phase that I’d outgrow once my career stabilized.
Then I found secular mindfulness meditation, yoga, and my worldview on well-being completed shifted. Prioritizing personal well-being became important, and through this journey I was able to manage and get through painful episodes of physical, mental and emotional discomfort with a newfound connected, yet detached, awareness.
Things change. It wasn’t until my childhood friends commented on the glow they’ve seen on my face and the apparent shifts in mood that I started noticing how much I’ve indeed changed. Gone too is the “victim mentality”, the complaints and pointless rants on how life could treat me better.
Mindfulness and meditation in modern times have become buzzwords whereever we go. We live in concrete jungles, battling to fight another day. Friends however, do note my recent change, sending many enquiries on meditation my way.
The slight mention of the word does invoke a myriad of responses, a slight cringe, confusion or even the widening of eyeballs in disbelief. “Nah, its not for me”, “I’m too busy, there’s not enough time”, “I get bored”, “Is that Headspace the app?” are common answers and potentially images of a zen-looking monk sitting cross-legged in a Himalayan mountain might pop up.
Despite having practiced for a while now, I still regard myself as a student first, and a teacher second. It is humbling how when you dedicate time to knowing yourself better, that you start to heal yourself in one way or another. This is an invitation for you to consider attempting mindfulness meditation or even give “sitting still” a fair trial and you might be surprised what insights will come out of it.
Some common thoughts (perfectly normal!):
Where do I find the space and time when I’m so busy? Finding a quiet space free of distractions where you can focus, align and connect to your breath aka finding a “breathing space” is crucial. Having some time penciled in your calendar early in the morning or evening might aid you in keeping up with a regular schedule.
Mmm. Is the practice scientific? Don’t worry – mindfulness meditation has been proven to work based on decades of research on neuroscience. It is available for everyone. If you belong to the restless and clueless bunch but yet determined to make improvements in your life, starting slow with a 5 to 10-min meditation session might just work to reduce stress, increase the clarity of mind, improve sleep quality, personal relationships and self-compassion.
Thoughts, thoughts, thoughts. My mind is too busy. Fret not – that’s just what the mind does! Jon Kabat-Zinn, founder of the UMass Centre of Mindfulness and godfather of modern-day mindfulness says, “Breathe and let be”.
In-out, in-out. Breathe. Observe. Recuperate. Our breath is always with us and if anytime your mind wanders, bringing your attention back to each inhale and exhale into the moment-to-moment experience.
A common misconception of meditation is to completely empty your mind of thoughts. This might leave you feeling even more stressed out than when you first started when you realize that all your mind wants to do is to conjure up thoughts!
This sounds too boring. Gosh, will I fall asleep? I feel like I need to check my phone. There is no rushing mindfulness. If 10 minutes feels too much, start with 3 or 5 minutes, or even 3 simple deep breaths. As the old adage goes: “Rome was not built in a day”. Take incremental baby steps while cultivating self-acceptance. Never feel bad or chide yourself for wanting to be a better person if you’ve not accomplished what you have set your mind up for – this is not the concrete jungle. Completely accept your presence to yourself in each moment and start over the next day.
Let’s face it. I don’t have the patience to upkeep this till i see benefits. It will get better. Those books, articles (like this one) that you’ve chanced upon all hold some degree of truth. Disclaimer: don’t take my words for it. Make time. Try it. Meditation may have the ability to potentially transform your life and put a spring to your step as you walk – one mindful moment at a time.
If you are keen to explore mindfulness meditation, Insight Timer has great resources to get you started!
